I had just finished enjoying myself in a grand party, dressed in fine apparel, moving by the side of the gutter (I said “moving” because I never had a destination, I was intoxicated and could walk out of the world if I kept treading on the same straightway).

  Suddenly a sharp ray of light struck my half-closed drunkard’s eye, and whew! I was inside the gutter (Guess what happened?  I was hit by a drunk matrix learner driver), I didn’t feel any pain, not just because of the fact that I was drunk, but plus the fact it was a hit from a co-drunker (though I wasn’t sure who was drunk then, the driver or the Matrix).

 I rose up again and resumed my “moving”, a sharp light illuminated my eyes as I tried to open them (This time it wasn’t from a car, but the sun, the last thing I remembered was resuming my  “moving”, and after regaining my consciousness now it was afternoon already), looking downward to save my eye balls from getting roasted by the fierce radiation, I saw many trees standing (actually that was due to my unclear vision ; it wasn’t trees but legs of elated reporters damned happy  to have gotten such a multitude – captivating scenario to write about. How does this headline sound – “A dumb drunk kid slept overnight in a gutter” and that was me).

  They continued taking my pictures from every side.

       Immediately, I was in my right senses and knew what was about to happen to me. So right in my mind I was thinking “should I act as if I’m a mad man” (actually it should be “mad boy”, but I loved calling myself a man, at least I should make myself proud if no one would), “should I just take to my heels?”, I thought again “on the one hand this is shameful, but, on the other hand this could make me famous in just a few minutes”, after sighting a video recording camera among the reporters, all I could come up with was stand straight to its eye lens, yelling “Follow me on IG, twitter and Facebook @Hanspheezy!!!”

  All of a suddenly I feel a whack on my ass by  monstella (she was the youth leader in my church, I called her monster because she was so ugly and i saw her as a female monster, so I gave her the nomenclature – “Monstella” since Emmanuel – Emmanuella, so the “ella” depicted her gender), she whacked my ass to wake me up for vigil, it was time to start already, she usually wake me up before anyone else because I was flippant, unserious.


  Blimey! I couldn’t believe me getting drunk and all those stuffs were dream while I was in the church waiting for vigil to start…. (to be continued tomorrow).

Written by PHILIP OSOGBON (Hanspheezy )

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